Since we did a Top Five Fictional Character Crushes thing a while back, we thought we’d do some ladycrushes. Meaning female characters we admire/love/want to be BFFs with. ‘Cept I wouldn’t want to have sex with any of ‘em. Vaginas are gross. I don’t know how you guys do it. Too many secret folds and bumps – scary shit.
5. X-23 (X-Men)
I’ve already written an entry about this badass bitch, so I’m not gonna wax poetic about her too much. She looks cool. She’s an awesome fighter. Enough said.
4. Ashly Burch (Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin’?)
She’s the star of the popular Internet webseries, Hey Ash Whatcha Playin’? Alright, so it can be argued that this chick isn’t fictional. Okay, she’s not fictional at all. But my argument for being able to put her on my list of Fictional Ladycrushes is that she’s obviously playing an exaggerated version of herself on the show so it’s partly fictionalized and it’s my goddamn blog so I can put her on here if I want to, bitches. Basically I want to be best friends with Ashly. I think we’d get along swimmingly, if I do say so myself. We both like video games and cookies. Hopefully she doesn’t like long walks on the beach, I hate those. Sand’s gross. It gets in every orifice and there’s no stopping it.
3. Jane Lane (Daria)
I think Jane Lane is the reason I speak the way I do. One of my high school friends got me into Daria and it fast became a way for me to deal with the Haunted House of Awkwardness that was my high school years. Daria’s more level-headed and more well-adjusted friend, Jane was the epitome of ‘effortlessly cool’. One day I’ll be that awesome. One day.
2. Ellen Ripley (Alien films)
I MET ELLEN RIPLEY. And by ‘met’ I mean she sat near me in the Creative Artists Agency waiting room. I had to pull out my book to resist the urge to stare. I had to wait about 45 minutes to be seen (I had an interview for a job. I didn’t get it. Those bastards.) She had to wait about four. AND RIGHTFULLY SO. Ellen Ripley’s a perfect example of a strong female character in an action flick – something that doesn’t seem to happen nearly often enough.
1. Veronica Mars (Veronica Mars)
Oh, Veronica Mars. How I wanted to be you. This series premiered/aired while I was in high school and played a huge part in my life. Too huge. Two words: message boards. I read them religiously. Veronica’s snarky and sassy and just goddamn awesome. She’s naturally fiercely independent. My independence mainly stems from the fact that I was so hideous that guys didn’t show an interest in me until very recently so I grew up without boyfriends. At least, that’s my hypothesis. But, despite being cute as a button, Veronica’s just naturally that way – an admirable trait if there ever was one. You go, girl.