Dear Hollywood, Zac Efron is Not the Answer

11 Nov

To be honest, I’m not a huge fan of “Akira“. I watched it, appreciated it, got on with my life.

Now, I am not a fan at ALL of Zac Efron. He has done nothing to enrich my life. I’ve never watched High School Musical or Charlie St. Cloud, because I actually have better things to do. I’m also not a fan of boys that know they’re pretty, and talk about that in every single one of their interviews–let’s be humble, people.

If you’ve heard the rumors as well, Zac Efron is in talks to be cast as the lead (not sure if I could see him as Tetsuo, but I think he looks too boyish to be Kaneda) in the Hollywood remake of the classic anime movie “Akira”. This is a huge mistake. Why? I’m not sure any “Akira” fan would look forward to this movie because of Zac Efron. The fan demographics are on opposite ends of the galaxy in a different universe. Efron fans might not want to watch a movie about a biker who mutates into a telekinetic monster. Akira fans might not want to watch Zac Efron.

Because my true concern is his hair stealing the show. Image via time.com

Megawoman argues that Efron would be an interesting choice–and she likened him to a young Leonardo diCaprio / Johnny Depp–pretty faces that can actually act. However, Leo and Johnny weren’t confined to teen movies/chick flicks at the beginnings of their careers. I mean… there’s a good reason you haven’t seen Kate Hudson in a movie about war or presidents, have you?

Hey now, this casting might prove workable–Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man, anyone? But RDJ isn’t a pretty boy who appears afraid to get down and dirrty. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bruise, let alone a scratch on Mr. Efron. I think, in order for me to believe that Efron belongs in this Akira movie, we need to see him on the cover of US Weekly, covered in mud, doing something manly, like.. off-roading. Or he should just have the makeup artist from Edward Scissorhands make him less pretty, though I’m not sure how that would fly with him.

Mr. Efron, I'd like to see your best angry face. Because I have bever seen you make more than 2 facial expressions. Zoolander exercises more facial motions than you do. Image via angryasianman.com

Now for something I DO approve of, Morgan Freeman is in talks to be The Colonel, which is pretty damn exciting.

By the way, screenrant.com just read the script for this movie, and they don’t seem to be too happy about it at all.

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One Response to “Dear Hollywood, Zac Efron is Not the Answer”

  1. calla. November 11, 2010 at 10:53 pm #

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. =(

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