This is probably the girliest entry I will ever write in here. So sit down, shut the fuck up, and read it before I kick you in the nads so hard you’ll sound like a de-balled choir boy.
5. The Tenth Doctor –
David Tennant’s three season run in the popular reboot of the British sci-fi series Doctor Who is, in my opinion, unmatched. In 2005, the Doctor Who series rose from the ashes of ’60s television, updated for modern audiences and now fondly referred to by fans as ‘NewWho’. Ten is undeniably the best incarnation of the Doctor thus far. Just the right amount of zany and genius, Ten oozes an intelligent confidence that I find astoundingly attractive. You can get in my trousers any time, Ten. See what I did there? Trousers? Like the British say? ‘Cause it’s a British show. WELL, I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.
4. Peter Parker (Spider-Man) –
Oh, Peter Parker. How do I love thee? The ways are innumerable. This clever bastard spits out one-liners like it’s his job (and it kinda is – who wants to watch/read an unfunny Spider-Man? Well, okay, it can be argued that Sam Raimi‘s Spider-Man trilogy made him kinda emo and not really that funny, but we’ve got the reboot now and it’s starring the lovely Andrew Garfield so let’s stop complaining, mmkay?) Spidey’s a true underdog – a skinny nerdy geek-turned-superhero that’s so relatable it hurts sometimes. And I love me some skinny nerdy geeks.
3. Wade Wilson (Deadpool) –
Sure, his face looks like someone welded beef jerky onto it, then ran over it with a truck, then took a pair of blunt scissors to it, but goddamn if Deadpool isn’t the funniest comic book character I’ve ever encountered. Although he’s got some damn shitty titles out now (coughDeadpoolCorpscough) and people are complaining about him being overexposed, goddammit, I love the guy. He makes pop culture references, he’s clever, and he’s hilarious as fuck! OLordhelpme (that would mean more if I were religious), I can’t resist a rapier wit and a clever tongue. That clever tongue bit wasn’t meant to be a double entendre, I swear.
2. Nathan –
This guy may be the least known out of my picks. He’s from a British television program called Misfits, which is, in my humble opinion, the best TV series ever created. I’m saving all my fangirling about this show for a later blog entry, but until then – check it out. You won’t regret it. It’s about a group of teenagers with ASBOs (basically meaning that they did minor crimes and have to do community service) that get caught in the middle of a freak lightning storm that gives them superpowers. Sounds like a stupid premise, but trust me – it’s AWESOME. Nathan’s a quick-witted, sharp-tongued teenager with a penchant for anus jokes. Definitely my kind of guy. His character’s also so interesting to watch – he appears confident and unshakable, but has a dark side… alright, I’ll stop now before I start faux-psychologying (it’s totally a word) this schiz.
1. Seth Cohen –
GO AHEAD, MAKE FUN OF ME. Yeah, he was a character on The O.C. Yeah, I watched it for him. Yeah, I’m a loser. Seth Cohen – comic book nerd, music connoisseur, video game master, funny, awesome, witty, and deliciously Jew-y. Seth’s at the top of this list ’cause he’s just so effortlessly cool that I get an insta-girlboner every time I think of him. I just wanna sit around, eat pizza, play some video games, and watch movies with this dude. I’m a cheap date.
Muchos props go out to my runners up: Piz (Veronica Mars), Guybrush Threepwood (Monkey Island series), Steven Karp (Undeclared)… and I’ll stop listing now for fear of making myself look even more sad. As if that were possible. I’m updating a blog regularly, it doesn’t get any lower than that.