Tag Archives: Girly Shit

There Are Other Wonderful Women in Comics Other Than Wonder Woman…

31 Jan

Yes, she is Wonder Woman and we won’t debate how wonderful she is. Hell, her name is fucking Wonder Woman. But does she really need ANOTHER non-nerdy collaboration?

MAC is releasing a Wonder Woman-inspired line of makeup February 10 (which will run through April)–but I’d like to ask, what about the OTHER females in comic book culture?

MAC's Wonder Woman collection; L-R: Mascara, Nail Lacquer, Lipstick. Images via refinery29.com

MAC's Wonder Woman collection; L-R: Mascara, Nail Lacquer, Lipstick.

Case-in-point #1: Poison Ivy (from Batman and Robin)
I can see an eye-shadow quad on Uma Thurman’s face. Perhaps it can be called, “The Greenhouse Effect”.

There would obviously be a coordinating shade of lipstick. Image via myspace.com

Case-in-point #2: Emma Frost
Look at those lips! You could just name the lipstick of the same shade “Emma Frost” and that would be appropriate.

The "Emma Frost". Image via comicbookresources.com

Example #3: Harley Quinn
Oh. Wait. I already have a palette like this from Nars, but it’s called “Pandora”. I feel “Harley Quinn” is more suitable.

Image via netbrawl.com

I rename thee, "The Harley Quinn". Image via imtheitgirl.com

Example #4: Catwoman
Not sure if she’s one of the top villainesses in my book, but Catwoman is definitely up there in the top 3. Just one of the renditions of Catwoman’s look, I’m pretty sure there’s a palette and lipstick appropriate for this version… I’d call it… “Nine Lives”.

Image via mrossana.com

Hah! It is found... "Nine Lives" as it should be named. Image via cosmetics4uonline.co.uk.

Apparently, purple lips are making a comeback. Collage via fashionjour.com

So I realize that none of the women I have chosen are as righteous as Wonder Woman, but I’m sure you’ll agree with me that they are all wonderful in that they do kick a good amount of ass, and are unforgettable characters. Besides, they seem to have a bit more fun with their makeup and styling.

At Your Fingers

8 Dec

Does anyone remember that fantastical exhibit the Metropolitan Museum of Art had 2 years ago showcasing superhero-inspired high fashion creations? Which was also then given its own, extremely memorable spread in American Vogue? (see below for a quick refresher)

A Catwoman-inspired outfit by Dolce & Gabbana, from Vogue. Image via stylefrizz.com

And then, American designer Diane von Furstenberg designed a capsule collection inspired by Wonder Woman shortly afterwards… this, I was only lukewarm towards. If I’m a grown woman with a day job tinkering away in the office on my keyboard, I’m not sure I’d want to wear a wrap dress with a glittering star slapped on the side.

Diane von Furstenberg Holiday 2008. Image via nitrolicious.com

Now, nOir Jewelry has teamed up with DC Comics for their 75th anniversary to launch a limited-edition line of superhero-inspired JEWELRY. I commend the fashion industry for being the leaders of sometimes-bottomless risk-taking in hopes of making a few extra bucks. These crossovers don’t always work, but I give brownie points for effort. You know, I do cosplay and all, and I do own that infamous “Video games destroyed my life good thing I have two extra lives ” tee from Threadless, but for some reason the only person I could ever see these rings on is Ke$ha.

I'm not crazy, right? Ke$ha needs these. Image via refinery29.com

And it’s not only because I’ve had “We R Who We R” stuck in my head for the past 3 days.

Click to open the video. I apologize in advance if you have this song stuck in your head for the next week. Just listen to "Whip My Hair" to boot it out of your brain.

Geek Girl Halloween Costume Dilemma

15 Oct

If you’re like me and would rather spend that extra hour of the day trying to complete the next temple in your Legend of Zelda game instead of doing yoga for an hour, maybe you aren’t in such great shape come Halloween time.

That being said, I can never figure out what to dress up as for Halloween that could possibly be clever, relevant and slightly sexy, because if you’re an adult female, you have to be some kind of sexy something. Sexy nurse. Sexy secretary. Sexy prisonmate. Whatever. Your store-bought options are pretty limited unless you know how to sew.

Luckily, I know how to sew, and I don’t have much of a social life, so I have time to crank out a costume for Halloween. But what about my girl friends who can’t sew? What are your options if all you do is stay home and watch “Darker Than Blood“?  Slave-outfit Leia again? Lara Croft? Let’s face it–if you don’t have boobs and nice legs, the Tomb Raider is territory you don’t want to cross lest you want to end up on ohnotheydidnt.

I always figure out my costumes at the last minute and they’re usually some kind of overly complicated contraption I lose sleep and hair over during the month of October. In fact it’s 3AM right now and I should probably be sleeping or drunk off my ass because that’s what exciting people do on Thursday nights, not contemplate Halloween costumes or write blog posts helping other people figure out their costumes.

But I’ve had a good handful of friends ask me for ideas on creative and simple Halloween costumes. I cannot help you. I can, however, direct you to some ideas if all you do is play Final Fantasy when you get home.

It’s not too hard for a female to “win” in a Halloween costume. All you need to do is show some cleavage and have awesome hair. For example, MegaWoman told me she was going to be Tifa Lockhart this year. Half of society doesn’t know who that is. But MegaWoman is pretty tall and has the body to pull it off so she’s going to get lookers anyway! Win. I don’t have boobs. I am also not very tall. So I have to resort to making a really complicated costume to hoard attention.

Tifa Lockhart

Tifa Lockhart. Image via desktopnexus.com

I stumbled upon these costumes the other day–I wouldn’t really consider them a “win”–you’ll definitely get attention, but your photo will probably be headlining the “caption contest” the next day.

Trashy Halloween Costumes

Clockwise from top left: "Han Solo", "Darth Vader", "Chew...bacca?"

So my solution for winning this Halloween as a nerdy female is to pick a costume you actually might enjoy wearing and doesn’t require funky undergarments you’ve just discovered to accommodate your outfit. This costume may not be instantly recognizable (to the masses) but as long as you don’t look overly exposed (re: Miley Cyrus’ sister last year, see below, what the hell) and I can still recognize you after all your makeup (that is, unless I’m not supposed to be able to–i.e. zombie costume), I’m giving you my two thumbs up.

Noah Cyrus

Sexy costume fail. Image via cutemileycyrus.com

Because I just subjected you to that horrific photo, here’s the trailer to Priest to bleach your mind.

Geek and Gamer Girls~

13 Sep

Hey! Some hot geeky chicks (known to the internet as Team Unicorn) did a nerdy music video parody of Katy Perry’s California Girls song! And it’s way better than the original! They make a l33t reference! Pretty awesome, right?! I wanna be friends with these mofos! I like exclamation marks! Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out (click the picture to see the video):


Click me, bitch.

If those hot chicks (even this non-lesbo finds them attractive) really are geeks… well, gdamn, that’s AWESOME. Buuut I think/hope the actual point of the video was to showcase the attractiveness of geeky girls in general for being passionate about something that most girls generally aren’t interested in. Hey… waitaminute… I’m a girl who loves that stuff. Why don’t guys dig me? Is it my pasty Indoor Girl face? What? You’re saying it’s my horrid, boring, ornery personality? FUCK YOU.

ANYWAY, the point of that ramble was to somewhat unsuccessfully transition into this next thought. I see this blog as a journey of personal geek discovery, my own personal epic quest to level up my geekdom. I am Geek Lite aspiring to be Geek Master. In layman’s terms – I’m decently well-informed, but I am no hero. Yet.

This blog is basically me Googling stuff for funsies, finding out information that’s been around for months/years, then excitedly running here to write about it as if it were news anyway. It could be worse, though. At least I’m not one of those people that sprints to update my Facebook status every time something happens to me, i.e. “omg i just saw a seagull walk by omg omg so cool”, “wtf my bf cheated on me!!!!11!!!”, “my mom died i’m gonna go cry now”, “i am so funny”, “i just pooped.”

I weep for humanity.

(video submitted by Andrew ‘Snuggles’ – thanks, dude!)

MegaWoman’s Top Five Fictional Character Crushes

9 Sep

This is probably the girliest entry I will ever write in here. So sit down, shut the fuck up, and read it before I kick you in the nads so hard you’ll sound like a de-balled choir boy.

5. The Tenth Doctor
David Tennant’s three season run in the popular reboot of the British sci-fi series Doctor Who is, in my opinion, unmatched. In 2005, the Doctor Who series rose from the ashes of ’60s television, updated for modern audiences and now fondly referred to by fans as ‘NewWho’. Ten is undeniably the best incarnation of the Doctor thus far. Just the right amount of zany and genius, Ten oozes an intelligent confidence that I find astoundingly attractive. You can get in my trousers any time, Ten. See what I did there? Trousers? Like the British say? ‘Cause it’s a British show. WELL, I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.

4. Peter Parker (Spider-Man) –
Oh, Peter Parker. How do I love thee? The ways are innumerable. This clever bastard spits out one-liners like it’s his job (and it kinda is – who wants to watch/read an unfunny Spider-Man? Well, okay, it can be argued that Sam Raimi‘s Spider-Man trilogy made him kinda emo and not really that funny, but we’ve got the reboot now and it’s starring the lovely Andrew Garfield so let’s stop complaining, mmkay?) Spidey’s a true underdog – a skinny nerdy geek-turned-superhero that’s so relatable it hurts sometimes. And I love me some skinny nerdy geeks.

3. Wade Wilson (Deadpool) –
Sure, his face looks like someone welded beef jerky onto it, then ran over it with a truck, then took a pair of blunt scissors to it, but goddamn if Deadpool isn’t the funniest comic book character I’ve ever encountered. Although he’s got some damn shitty titles out now (coughDeadpoolCorpscough) and people are complaining about him being overexposed, goddammit, I love the guy. He makes pop culture references, he’s clever, and he’s hilarious as fuck! OLordhelpme (that would mean more if I were religious), I can’t resist a rapier wit and a clever tongue. That clever tongue bit wasn’t meant to be a double entendre, I swear.

2. Nathan
This guy may be the least known out of my picks. He’s from a British television program called Misfits, which is, in my humble opinion, the best TV series ever created. I’m saving all my fangirling about this show for a later blog entry, but until then – check it out. You won’t regret it. It’s about a group of teenagers with ASBOs (basically meaning that they did minor crimes and have to do community service) that get caught in the middle of a freak lightning storm that gives them superpowers. Sounds like a stupid premise, but trust me – it’s AWESOME. Nathan’s a quick-witted, sharp-tongued teenager with a penchant for anus jokes. Definitely my kind of guy. His character’s also so interesting to watch – he appears confident and unshakable, but has a dark side… alright, I’ll stop now before I start faux-psychologying (it’s totally a word) this schiz.

1. Seth Cohen
GO AHEAD, MAKE FUN OF ME. Yeah, he was a character on The O.C. Yeah, I watched it for him. Yeah, I’m a loser. Seth Cohen – comic book nerd, music connoisseur, video game master, funny, awesome, witty, and deliciously Jew-y. Seth’s at the top of this list ’cause he’s just so effortlessly cool that I get an insta-girlboner every time I think of him. I just wanna sit around, eat pizza, play some video games, and watch movies with this dude. I’m a cheap date.

Muchos props go out to my runners up: Piz (Veronica Mars), Guybrush Threepwood (Monkey Island series), Steven Karp (Undeclared)… and I’ll stop listing now for fear of making myself look even more sad. As if that were possible. I’m updating a blog regularly, it doesn’t get any lower than that.

Menace’s Top Five Fictional Character Crushes

9 Sep
Li Syaoran - Card Captor Sakura / Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

One of the good boys out there, Li Syaoran (image via fanpop.com)

5. Li Syaoran – Card Captor Sakura / Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle (by CLAMP) TV Anime

Even though Li hails from Hong Kong, there is probably nothing remotely Chinese about him except his name and his battle attire, which actually seems to integrate some Arabian influence now that I recall it. He was insanely loyal to the sometimes-annoying Sakura, extremely protective, and shy. (But sometimes his loyalty to her is sickening. Maybe I’m just jealous. Whatever.) He also kicked some mischievous Clow Card ass as an elementary school student. Besides the fact I wish his character was slightly more interesting, it’s difficult not to fall for this adorable boy who just wanted to protect his one and only love!

Tuxedo Mask - Sailor Moon

I like masks... (image via propsops.com)

4. Tuxedo Mask – Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon (1992-1993, by Naoko Takeuchi) TV Anime

I don’t know anybody who did not have a crush on Tuxedo Mask when I was in elementary school. He made all of us clumsy, awkward teen girls (like Usagi-chan) feel as though there was hope for us hopeless. Although I don’t think I was as ditsy as Usagi-chan, I was pretty  jealous at the time that he was her soulmate. He was gentler than Batman, far older than Li Syaoran, and humble–the last characteristic generally a rarity among dark-haired anime men.

Roy Mustang - Fullmetal Alchemist

Roy Mustang, keepin' it HOTTTT (image via bonnema-boyd.com)

3. Roy Mustang – Fullmetal Alchemist (2001-2010, by Hiromu Arakawa) Manga/TV Anime

It took me a while to warm up to the ambitious, seemingly “womanizing” (we all know he really wasn’t but he made it seem like it!) Colonel that always gave Edward a hard time, but after seeing his true colors when the homunculus appeared, the Flame Alchemist became one of the characters I was deeply invested in as I read the manga. Extremely heroic and surprisingly thoughtful, Roy’s character arc is one of my favorites in the story, and I found myself rooting for him until the end.

Shinichi Kudo - Detective Conan

Oh so dreamy... (image via friendster.com)

2. Shinichi Kudo – Detective Conan (Case Closed-1994+, by Gosho Aoyama) TV Anime

Detective Conan was an anime I grew up watching with my family, and I still catch a few episodes here and there. I’m actually caught up on all the movies! I have quite an obsession with mystery stories and generally anything involving detectives, so Detective Conan is one of my absolute favorites. Before you call me out on being a pedophile for crushing on this detective, I specifically mean Shinichi, not Conan. Just saying. It’s kind of hard not to like a high school detective who might actually be mentally more adept than Sherlock Holmes, who is also a star soccer player on his high school team–do people in real life even exist like Shinichi?

Terry McGinnis - Batman Beyond

Brooding (kind of) and somewhat mysterious, but mostly just your everyday butt-kicking teenager who wears a leotard with a vibrant red chest design (image via comicvine.com)

1. Terry McGinnis – Batman Beyond (1999-2001, character created by Bruce Timm & Paul Dini) TV/graphic novel

Terry McGinnis was my number one crush as a girl. (I would like to think I’m somewhat of a woman now) I won’t even hide the fact that he’s still my favorite fictional male character of all time. He is the most flawed out of all my picks, but I was always kept on my toes when I wondered how he would continue to balance his personal life with his Batman duties. I buried my face in my hands when he failed, I felt tears swell up in my eyes as he left Mr. Freeze to fate (yes I still remember that moment–one of my favorites ever in animated history), and I winced every time Inque would overpower him. He didn’t have super powers and didn’t fight strange creatures (well, Shinichi didn’t either) but he had enough emotional and past craziness in his life for me to admire him every time he overcame one of his challenges, even if it was just coming up with a new excuse to give poor Dana.

Chinga tu madre!

6 Sep

Even though I don’t have a Y-chromosome, I’ve been looking forward to Robert Rodriguez’s Machete (see the trailer here.) Mostly ‘cause he directed Spy Kids. No, kidding. Mostly because he directed Sin City and Planet Terror (that’s more respectable, right?) and might be helming the Deadpool movie. There was also the added bonus of it being “Rated R for strong bloody violence throughout, language, some sexual content and nudity.” Sounds like a friggin’ awesome party!

I saw the film on Friday. First note: I never, ever wanted to see Lindsay Lohan’s tits. In fact, I stay far away from all Lindsay Lohan-related photos because I don’t want to see that cute little girl from The Parent Trap getting out of a car in an impossibly short dress, consequently exposing her hoo-hah to the cool night breezes. So that wasn’t fun. Second note: I love Danny Trejo. He’s in two of my ultimate guilty pleasure films (the ones I know I shouldn’t like ‘cause they’re god-awful, but for some reason I do) – Bubble Boy and Fanboys (DON’T JUDGE ME, ASSHOLES.) That ese’s badass, dude. But I didn’t really like him as a leading man. Stick to your supporting roles, muchacho. Even though the film delivered on my dark humor bloody violence quota (there was even one part where Machete sliced open this puto’s stomach, pulled out his intestines, and used them as a rope to climb down the side of a building – HILARIOUS), the fact none of the characters were well-written/developed enough for me to identify with made me leave the theatre with an overall feeling of “… enh.” It’s a renter.

Now, this weekend, I also saw Going the Distance. Whatever whatever, go ahead and laugh at me – I’m a chick and someone else was paying for me and I have an unreasonably huge crush on Justin Long ‘cause he’s irresistibly funny/charming so you can just go and hang yourself in your shower, Buttass. The movie’s pretty much what it advertised, so get your lazy ass down to YouTube and watch a trailer ‘cause I ain’t summarizing that shit for you. But it did get me thinking about how every girl has a different definition of what’s romantic. For some girls it’s moronic Katherine Heigl-movie crap with flowers and teddy bears and all that super froofy stuff. For other girls it’s stuff like this:


(via Kotaku.com)

You can guess which camp I’m in.

P.S. A helpful note to guys who need advice – to woo a non-Katherine-Heigl-movie girl, you don’t have to do something as extravagant as training all those Pokemon to level 100 (even though I know that you probably used that Pokemon Red/Blue cheat code where you multiply your Rare Candy item to an infinite amount and just use those on your little Pocket Monsters till they’re full up) – something simple can do it. Example? Maybe a cleverly-constructed rhyme. Me? I’d love a comedic rap to the tune of Slim Shady. Throw down dem phat beats, yo.

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