Tag Archives: PS3 Games

FATAL ATTRACTION. IN YOUR GAME SYSTEM.

10 Mar

Remember Heavy Rain? I didn’t play it, but from what I heard, it was a pretty dramatic game. There was some romance involved, am I right?

There aren’t too many games for the XBOX or the PS3 focusing their spotlight on romance, in-game, but “Catherine” dares to change this. You do not make your characters fall in love or have seks. Rather, you are trying to escape from your nightmares because you HAD AN AFFAIR AND NOW YOUR MISTAKE WON’T LEAVE YOU ALONE!

Do not be fooled by the cute girls and the pink background. Image via scorephoria.com

AKA: FATAL ATTRACTION MEETS THE CELL —  Choose your own adventure-style.

I am digging the style of the graphics–it is just me or does Vincent (the protagonist) remind you a LITTLE bit of Spike Spiegel? Whenever I see blonde pigtails I think Sailormoon. So we’ve got Spike Spiegel and slutty Usagi-chan in this raunchy video game.

Image via gamestop.com

Image via gamestop.com

But seriously, you play as Vincent, who meets the mysterious Catherine at a bar one night and perhaps has a little too much fun with her, despite the fact he has a long-term girlfriend, Katherine, to go home to. He is later plagued by nightmares in which his life is constantly at stake, and must “survive” each nightmare, as the lines between reality and the dreamworld blur. Not only do you have to battle and solve puzzles during the nightmares, you must eventually choose between Catherine and Katherine. Oh, and did I mention that random young men have been dying, while sleeping? Suddenly, Dan Gallagher’s life doesn’t seem so difficult.

The game was recently released in Japan (February 2011) and is slated for its North American release on July 26, 2011.

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Uncharted 2 in the hizzouse!

2 Nov

IGN.com recently released a list of the top 25 PlayStation 3 games and I promised myself I’d play at least one of them that I hadn’t gotten to yet. And of course, like a fat girl goes immediately for the muffins on the snack table at a company meeting, I beelined for number one: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves.

As of the time I’m writing this blog entry, I’m about halfway through the game and it’s been epic fun. Our devilishly handsome hero (I think I have a bit of a crush… alright, a HUGE crush), Nathan Drake, is a tongue-in-cheek roguish fortune hunter on a quest to find the secret behind Marco Polo’s lost fleet. Uncharted 2 is great in that it feels like you’re playing through an action adventure movie – it has treasure, sidekicks, guns, chase scenes, the works.

In everything I watch, read, play, listen to, or do, one of the most important factors in deciding if I’ll like it is whether or not it has a sense of humor. Fortunately, Uncharted 2 delivers in this category. Even though it’s primarily an adventure game, it manages to slide in some pretty hilarious dialogue every now and then. I attribute this success to the fact that Nathan Drake is a very well-written character, and the rapport between him and his various teammates is well-scripted. I especially like his interactions with Chloe Frazer, his dark-haired buxom beauty of a companion. Straight dudes – this game’s worth playing for this chick. She’s foxy. Tits like grapefruits and an ass like two perfectly-shaped cantaloupes put together. I want a fruit bowl.

The game has the perfect balance between cut scenes and gameplay – neither becomes tedious. The camera motion is also amazingly designed, again – it strikes a perfect balance in that it guides you to your next step without leaving you in the dark or assuming you’re a retard. And, in all my hours of gameplay thus far, I haven’t had a moment where I let out a string of curse words (FUCKYOUMOTHERFUCKINGFUCKTARDFUCKYOURFUCKHOLEARRRRRGH) because the camera got me stuck in a position where I can’t shoot straight.

Overall, Uncharted 2 deserves its title as best PS3 game of the year so far. It’s engaging, fun, and remarkably addicting. Trust me. I sat on my ass for six hours playing it and didn’t even realize I was about to piss my pants from the three cups of tea I’d had.

Fun Fact: Nathan Fillion, star of Firefly (but you should’ve already known that), is campaigning to play Nathan Drake in the upcoming movie adaptation of the game. He’s doing this through his Twitter (http://twitter.com/nathanfillion) and you can support him by using the hashtag #fillionfordrake. It’s a PERFECT fit. You can trust me. Now, get in the windowless van cuz I’ve got some candy for ya.

Rock Band III comes out today!

26 Oct

Songs I’m most excited about:

  • Bohemian Rhapsody: Queen
  • Du Hast: Rammstein
  • Get Up, Stand Up: Bob Marley and the Wailers
  • I Love Rock ‘n Roll: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
  • Rehab: Amy Winehouse
  • Walk of Life: Dire Straits

RBIII supposedly includes a keytar option. While keytars can be kinda dorky in real life, video game keytars are infinitely cool. New songs, new instruments…I love Rock Band. It brings video games to the masses, to the people who’d never play Super Smash because it’s too geeky but will still belt out 80’s ballads in Rock Band.

 

Caution: more awesome than it may initially appear.

 

Plus, I think this game is totally a stepping stone to learning to play real instruments via video games. Everyone knows that the worst part about learning to play a musical instrument is the required hours of practice that are necessary in order to develop any sort of skill. Luckily, we all do that anyway every single time we playa video game, and it’s easy to play for hours without even realizing it. (I’d cite the stories of people who didn’t move for weeks while playing WoW or attempting to beat all the FF games in a row, but that’s overkill).

You could easily teach people to read music (with notes in fun colours) at higher levels of the game. If my little brother can play the Dragonforce ‘Through the Fire and the Flames’ solo on Expert Guitar, his skinny little fingers can definitely be trained to move similarly fast for Chopin.

I can’t wait until we can learn classical piano through a Rock Band-like video game.

Fortissimo = Star Power?

Damper pedal = whammy bar?

Rock Bach!

Shit I’m Excited For This Week! 9/5/10

5 Sep

So what am I most excited for this week? I’M GLAD YOU ASKED!

This week, two highly anticipated video games (okay, highly anticipated by myself, I’m not sure about the rest of y’all) come out this week – Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions and Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep.

Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions comes out for PlayStation 3, XBox 360, Wii, and Nintendo DS on Tuesday. Mainly I chose this picture ’cause you can see Deadpool’s symbol back there on the screens. More on why Deadpool’s the best Marvel character ever in another post. If I get around to it.

Spidey’s one of my favorite superheroes – I’m a sucker for one liners and geeky protagonists. Spider-Man: SD has you playing four different incarnations of the hero in four different dimensions. It’s like a Double-Mint commercial times two. I think that math’s right. 2 x 2 = 4? Yeah, that’s right. I’m bad at math, and therefore a bad Asian.

Each dimension Peter Parker travels through represents a different incarnation of Spidey in comic history: The Amazing Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2099, Spider-Man Noir, and Ultimate Spider-Man. Pretty neat, huh? Since I’ve only recently started reading comic books regularly (a travesty, I know, but I’m trying to make up for years of ignorance by diving headfirst into it right now) I’m only familiar with the Amazing Spider-Man and Ultimate Spider-Man ‘verses. But I’m certain I’ll love this game nonetheless. Such is my devotion to this character that I even own the shitstorm that was Spider-Man 3 on DVD. SHUT UP, I SIT AROUND AND MAKE FUN OF IT AND THAT’S NOT SAD AT ALL. So, you know. Go die.

I’m gonna admit it – I know zilch about Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep, which comes out for PSP on Tuesday. I’ve been staying away from any information on it ’cause I wanna be surprised. FUCK YOU, SPOILERS! But since I’m a rabid fan of the Kingdom Hearts series (the Peter Pan level’s my shit!), I’m super stoked for this one.

Also, I find Roxas weirdly attractive. Except his name’s not Roxas in this game. Or maybe that’s not even Roxas, maybe it’s a dude who looks like Roxas? This is the problem with keeping yourself in the dark. When you try to talk about it on the blog no one reads but yourself, you look like an idiot. To yourself. Stop talking to yourself. Okay, Master.

(photo from ign.com)

3D Dot Game PENIS

23 Aug

After the emotional rollercoaster that was Heavy Rain, I thought I’d look for a game that was a little lighter. You know, one where I don’t have to SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS cut off my own finger. /end SPOILERS

Google is my lord and master, amen. I searched ‘best playstation 3 games of 2010’ and 3D Dot Game Heroes looked like the most promising of the bunch, so I Game Stop’ped that schiz.

3D Dot Game Heroes is reminiscent of the retro 8-bit games of Ye Olde Days of video games. It’s basically a love letter to The Legend of Zelda, borrowing heavily from its story and game play, but it imbibes its own tongue-in-cheek sense of humor, even going so far as to include Engrish mistakes and asterisk actions *sigh*

Thus far it’s pretty damn awesome. As a Zelda fan, I appreciate the sense of humor and it’s good, clean fun. But really, the only important thing to report is that I named my character PENIS. It really makes my day when they say things like, “Master PENIS” and “PENIS, you’re amazing!” and “I’m sucking PENIS.” Okay, maybe not the last one.

HEY CRACKA!

21 Aug

So I just finished Heavy Rain. Yes, I’m slow (and not in the retard sense of the word.) My delay in completing it can be attributed to two facts. Number one: I was late in gettin’ to the GameStop – I only bought it a few months ago. Shame on me. Number two (heh, number two): I can only play it during daylight hours. With someone next to me. Why yes, I am chickenshit. Disturbing things haunt the deepest recesses of my imagination. Show me a picture of Carrot Top and I won’t sleep for days.

For those of you unfamiliar with Heavy Rain, it’s a dark thriller video game about a serial killer called the Origami Killer. Oft described as an “interactive drama”, it tells its story by switching you between four main characters with interlaced plotlines. Your decisions and actions affect the outcome of the game.

It’s essentially a Choose Your Own Adventure book meets Se7en (that serial killer movie – with Morgan Freeman and Pepper Potts’ head in the box – that’s directed by David Fincher, who’s doing that Facebook movie The Social Network, which is actually more about the dramatic legal shenanigans of that Zuckerberg dude than the Facebook experience – like sending mildly suggestive Pokes to that boy you’ve like, totally, like, been crushing on or stalking old high school classmates and the sadistic joy that comes from seeing how fat they’ve gotten. This is the longest parenthetical tangent ever.)

Where was I? I’m not doing much to combat the whole not-slow-in-the-retard-sense-of-the-word thing. Look at me, bringing this post full circle.  I’d end it here ‘cause let’s face it – you’re not gonna get much more closure than that, but I haven’t even really said anything of substance about the game yet. Here goes.

It’s amazing. Me like. Buy it, goddammit.

Favorite Game Moments:

–       When that Mad Jack fellow (the only black dude in the game) yells “HEY, CRACKA!”  I’m gonna be quoting that one ad nauseum. Heavy Rain may be about slowly drowning children to death, but goddamn if it doesn’t lighten up the mood with a little comedic stereotyping.

–       Playing out that interactive sex scene. While sitting next to my dad.

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