Tag Archives: Watchmen

Questions for Zack Snyder

28 Mar

March 25 was a very important date for all nerds. It was the date on which the conglomeration of all nerds’ wet dreams came into fruition–Zack Snyder’s “Suckerpunch“. Hot chicks in skimpy outfits, weapons, monsters, dragons, supposedly awesome visual effects, ass-kicking, Carla Gugino… what more is there to say?

Yeah, I definitely was NOT prepared for THIS MOVIE. Image via filmofilia.com

All of those items could amount to epicness at the level of Scott Pilgrim, or create a soup that has way too many ingredients (bad analogy but I really cannot think of anything else at this time), and if you went to the midnight screening on Thursday, the first thing you did after the movie was probably update your Facebook status about how horrible the movie was, which would then deter many who were interested in this movie. Well, despite my friend’s gchat status of: my brain is jelly… which he explained, “that’s what the movie did to me”, I still went to see the movie on Friday night, and I must admit, though I lowered my standards very, very much (I had just watched “Hall Pass” recently, and that was not a good movie either…. I mean I seriously lowered my standards), “Suckerpunch” left me speechless. Speechless because I do not understand how a movie like that didn’t go straight to video. DVD. Whatever. Of course, my friends and I were completely at a loss for words after the movie, but after about 15 minutes, I had many, many unanswered questions for Zack Snyder, to which I can only hope somebody can provide me with some type of closure with. See below (spoiler alert, if you even care):

1. Why did you (Zack Snyder) hire the same visual effects team as M. Night Shyamalan? I am referring to the team that worked on “The Last Airbender“. I watched “300” more than once and I know what you are capable of. You have the money to hire a better team. Why did you deprive us of bearable graphics? The effects in the movie made me truly appreciate how beautiful the graphics are … on the PSP.

Really awkward snow scene that could have been superb? Check.

2.  In the first fight against the 3 “samurai” warriors with glowing eyes, was there zero gravity in that space? How did Babydoll’s measly little blade hold up against their weapons, which were about 100x bigger and heavier? I do not understand that, especially since she was flung around like a ragdoll, but her sword was able to cut through their armor? Please explain that to me, that would never work in a video game.

3. Why were Amber and Blondie in a mental institution? They seemed pretty normal to me.

4. Also, why did the above two characters only have… 2 lines in the entire movie?

5. Why is Vanessa Hudgens’ character’s name “Blondie”? She is not blonde. Backstory please.

This actually doesn't even look like Vanessa Hudgens. Image via filmofilia.com

6. Why would you make the girls in a mental institution prostitute themselves? That is just a recipe for disaster, seriously.

7. Why don’t you ever see Babydoll dance? I am unconvinced that her awkward swaying, paired with her creepy, innocent gaze, can distract a fat man from a scantily-clad female from stealing his gold-plated lighter from his breast pocket.

8. What year is this movie supposed to be in? The 30’s? 40’s? If so, why is the first song we hear Bjork’s “Army of Me”? Mind you, this was not background music, it was music used for Babydoll’s first dance. This also confused me.

9. How did Rocket die with just a little wound in her side!? The other girls got a fucking bullet in their heads. Please explain.

10. Why is Babydoll the only one in a skimpy schoolgirl outfit when the other girls are all in skimpy military-inspired outfits?

11. Why did you borrow the Orcs from Lord of the Rings for the dragon-fighting scene? I couldn’t hold in my laughter.

If you watched the movie you know what I'm talking about. Image via blog.activehome.co.uk

12. Speaking of the dragon-fighting scene, how is it that Babydoll’s tiny little blade pierced through the huge-ass dragon’s head and killed the beast? I DON’T UNDERSTAND. It’s like sticking a pocket knife through the top of a Hummer, that shit isn’t going to stop the Hummer from going along its merry way, you know.

13. How did all the girls instantly trust Babydoll’s plan to escape? They just met her. Girls don’t trust that easily.

14. In the second fight with the steam-powered German soldiers, how is that Babydoll’s tiny pistol shot down the plane? IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.

15. My final question because I no longer want to contemplate this movie: Why couldn’t you just make this into a video game? Would have had lower expectations, and I wouldn’t have any of these questions because I usually don’t question the dynamics in a video game.

Because you’ve already spent probably 10-15 minutes of your time reading this blog post, and you probably want to get something out of it, I suggest you save your $13 for a nice dinner somewhere and just wait until this movie releases on DVD… in 2 months.

Geek Gingerbread

24 Dec

I’m going to share these with you because I’m rather proud of some of them (and hopelessly embarrassed by others).

Consider it an early Christmas present with one condition: you’re not allowed to make fun of my frosting skills…or lack thereof.

Captain America

Dr. Manhattan

Dr. Manhattan

Spidey

Superman

ThePowerofLoveMan?

Black Canary

The Doppler Effect

Sheldon Cooper's Halloween Costume

Wonder Woman

Nightwing

Batman

Not a Red Shirt

Ninjas

Pirate

33ish Ideas for Simple Geeky Costumes

29 Oct

Unlike The Menace, I’m a lazy geek with minimal sewing abilities. Rather than attempt and fail to construct detailled and elaborate costumes, I stick to costumes that work with what I have in my closet and require the purchase of three accessories max.

Here are some simple, quick, yet geeky costumes that you can put together in time for Halloween (which is only three days away!). These are the ones I thought up yesterday; any other ideas?

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Guys:

Wolverine: Wife beater. Jeans. Dogtags. Leather jacket. Prop claws. Cigar, Sideburns. Five bucks for plastic claws, three for fake sideburns  and scruff (free if you’ve got the hairy genes to grow it yourself).

Superboy: Black T-shirt with red Superman S (can be made out of red tape). Jeans. Sunglasses optional.

Bruce Wayne: Suit. Shirt unbuttoned to reveal Batman symbol underneath?

The Penguin: Tuxedo. Umbrella. Top Hat. Pointy nose. Cigarette in holder. Monocle.

Warren Worthington III: Blonde hair. Jeans. Large angel wings.

Silver Surfer: Silver speedo. Silver bodypaint. Silver swim cap to make yourself look bald. Silver surfboard (can just be carboard cut into the shape and spray painted). Contacts if you want the full effect.

Dr. Manhattan: Blue bodypaint. Blue swim cap to make yourself look bald. Draw in a circle with a dot in the centre of your forehead. Contacts and dark eye makeup. Black biker shorts or speedo or man thong or…you know.

Angel: Dark clothing. Leather jacket. Hair gel. Broody attitude. Maybe vampire fangs.

Waldo: Red and white striped shirt and beanie. Reans. Round glasses. It’s so much better if you surround yourself with people dressed similarly but slightly differently so that it’s like you’re actually hidden in a Where’s Waldo book.

Chuck: White short sleeved shirt. Skinny grey tie. Pens in pocket. Nerd Herd nametag. Bonus points if you have a hot blonde girlfriend in a orange tank top or leather.

Shaun of the Dead: Red tie. White shirt. Red pen in pocket. Nametag. Bloody cricket bat. Bouquet of yellow flowers. Zombie best friend a plus.

The Hulk: Purple shorts. Green body paint. Dark hair.

Severus Snape: Long black robe. Wand. Greasy hair. Big nose and Slytherin colours optional.

Captain Hammer: Hammer T-shirt. Cargo pants tucked into combat boots. Welder’s gloves.

Hiro Nakamura: All black clothing. Draw on a soul patch. Samurai sword.

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Girls:

Baroness: Skin tight, all black clothes. Awesome boots, Glasses. Red Cobra symbol on your chest, (can be made using red tape). Maybe a prop machine gun and ammo belt. Wig if necessary.

Catwoman: Skin tight, all black clothes. Cat ears. Broad gold belt at hip level (can be made out of spray painted cardboard?) and gold coin necklace. Mask. Wig if necessary. Or, alternatively, just boots and a whip.

Ramona Flowers: Cute, punk clothes. Several belts. Colourful wig. Rollerblades or cool boots. Those goggles might be a little hard to find, but you could do without them and still be recognisable. Circle purse with a star. Giant hammer is a plus.

Emma Frost: Blonde hair. White lingerie/bathing suit/corset. White boots. White cape.

She Hulk: Suit. Purple undershirt for a hint of who she is. Green body paint. Wig if necessary. Nametag and briefcase optional. (As a law student, it’s my go-to back-up costume)

Smurfette: White dress. Blue bodypaint, Blonde wig if necessary.

Black Canary: Black bathing suit. Leather jacket. Fishnets. Combat boots. Blonde wig if necessary. Motorbike optional.

Poison Ivy: Green body paint. Red wig if necessary. Leaves glued to a bikini.

Starbuck: Backwards black racerback tank top. Khakis. Combat boots. Hexagonal dogtags. Cigar. Short blonde hair. Tattoo on left arm.

Barbara Gordon/Oracle: Red hair. Wheelchair. Glasses. Laptop and escrima sticks optional.

Leia: Extra large white turtleneck. Long white skirt. Belt. Hair in distinctive buns.

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Pairs:

The Doctor and Companion: so many options here, including but not limited to:

  • 9: Leather jacket, Jeans. Dark shirt. Big nose and ears.
  • 10: Blue or brown pinstriped suit. Slight sideburns. Converse. Trenchcoat optional.
  • 11: Bowtie. Suspenders. Fez. Dress shirt and sweater(vest).
  • Rose: Pink or purple. Dirty blonde hair.
  • Martha: Red leather jacket. Jeans.

Mulder and Scully: Suits that look like they’re from the 80’s. Trenchcoats. Red hair for Scully.  You can print out prop X-Files FBI badges.

Lois Lane and Clark Kent: Lois = suit and Daily Planet press pass (can be printed from the internet).

Clark = Option 1: Flannel. Jeans. Glasses. Shirt unbuttoned to reveal Superman Symbol underneath. Option 2: Business Casual. Tie. Glasses. Daily Planet press pass. Shirt unbuttoned to reveal Superman Symbol underneath.

Tony Stark and Pepper Potts: Pepper = suit. Crazy high heels.

Tony= Option 1: Wife beater. Jeans,. Goatee. Glow-y arc reactor hanging around his neck and under the wife beater. (I’ve arc reactor necklaces for sale in Halloween stores so I know it’s available; or you could use two glow sticks and electrical tape to achieve the same effect.) Option 2: Suit with arc reactor glow showing through.

Cloak and Dagger: Black guy with a goatee in a black cloak. White girl in skin tight white clothes with relevant sections cut out. Blonde wig if necessary.

Jay and Kay: Suits. Sunglasses. One black guy, one white guy.


Pumpkin Pi: Orange shirt with pumpkin face (can be made using black electrical tape). Pi shirt.

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