Bloodsport(s)

Now that I’m fully recovered from Coachella and a spectacular Prince concert last week, I’m back into my schedule of eating dinner while watching anime (that’s what you do when you don’t have a roommate/social life). I would have written about this anime right after Coachella, but I don’t think I could legitimately “review” Deadman Wonderland without watching at least 2 episodes, so here we are, after 2 episodes. A friend recommended the manga to me a mere 3 wks ago, and I read through all 43 chapters in about 3 days, basically because I had nothing else to read at the time. (I have this tendency to marathon a series) While it’s not memorable by its own merit, it draws many similarities to “Elfen Lied”, “Darker Than Black” and “X-Men”, all of the associations which are helping me to remember this story.

Image via thefanboyseo.com

The first thing you’ll probably realize from the “Deadman Wonderland” anime is that almost all of the seiyuu’s (voice actors) from “Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood” moved on over to provide their talents to DW. Well, if you didn’t figure that out you need to get your shit together and watch FMA:Brotherhood, then we’ll talk. But seriously, the production quality of DW is brilliant (thanks to HD quality Youtube also), Kazuma Kondou‘s original manga illustrations translate beautifully into the animation, and I can’t wait to see the Carnival Corpse battles.

So as I’m watching the first episode while simultaneously trying to Facebook-chat with my friend, also watching the first episode, we both realize that the anime expands upon each character a TAD bit more than how the story unfolds in the manga, as though the mangaka knew that the story would be adapted into an anime… I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a bad thing as I would have no reason to watch the anime if the plot followed the exact tangent of the manga, but based on the first 2 episodes it would seem that this series is slated for a 2-season run.

As you probably see, I am trying very hard to spoil as little as possible about this series. I will merely leave you with the below hints I mentioned above….

1a) Elfen Lied= evolved humans using parts of their body to destroy other humans = Deadman Wonderland has this.
1b) Elfen Lied= half-nekkid girl character who has the intelligence of a 3-year-old = Deadman Wonderland has this.
2) Darker Than Black= characters who use blood to destroy other humans = Deadman Wonderland has this.
3) X-Men= evolved humans with powers that may be used for good or evil and are shunned by the rest of society = Deadman Wonderland has this.

”](There, I have spoiled very little for you.)

While DW doesn’t introduce any ground-breaking plotlines or characters, the manga was a relatively fun ride. But instead of waiting patiently for a new episode to release every week I think I’m going to catch up on Beelzebub and wait until the DW season is over to write up my summary.

WAA! WII… WOOH! WAY.. WHOA.

I wasn’t trying to recite part of the Japanese alphabet. I’m talking about how the Wii helped me get off my insolent, glued-to-a-screen ass and stand on a board while paddling for 2 fucking hours on a sunny Saturday in September.

I know the Wii Fit already aids in encouraging people to exercise from the comfort of their own home, but being a former cross-country/track runner (you wouldn’t believe that I used to be HARDCORE AND ACTUALLY IN SHAPE. Nowadays I’ll walk two flights of stairs and attempt to catch my breath), I’m a huge advocate of participating in OUTSIDE RECREATION.

So I’m thankful for my friends that have generously-sized living rooms and multiple Wii remotes. Because true to my lazy nature, board games take too much time to set up. I tested out Wii Sports Resort the same week it released at my friend’s house, and what my girl friends and I learned that night was–never challenge me in a real-life duel because you might actually die.

Wii Swordplay, image via gamezone.com

Wii Sports Resort - Canoeing. Image via videogameblogger.com

Crazy sword antics aside, one of the sports that tired us out completely was canoeing. This prompted us to actually go kaYAKING. I went kayaking once, when I was at cross-country camp at Catalina Island. Yeah, I was athletic … once upon a time. We started throwing out ideas of REAL-LIFE-OUTDOOR-EXERCISES and we came upon paddle-boarding, which my friend (The host) had done a while ago. There were 4 of us that night, and though it took us forever to assemble and actually pick a date to participate in OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES, we finally did it. It was very enjoyable and my entire body was sore for a non-embarrassing reason! I could proudly tell people that I was sore from PADDLE-BOARDING and NOT FROM PLAYING 6 HOURS OF TWILIGHT PRINCESS. Because most people don’t know what paddle-boarding is, and when I say that you literally stand on a BOARD and PADDLE, it makes you sound BADASS. To be honest, paddle-boarding isn’t hard at all.

Hot chicks paddle-boarding (not me, not Megan, not Marize. Sorry.) Image via southfloridaadventures.com

Wii Sports Resort even encouraged me to contemplate archery. I researched nearby archery sessions and found some for the weekend. Unfortunately, waking up at 8am on a Saturday morning by myself is asking too much. I guess the Wii can only encourage me to change so much of my lifestyle.

My Demon, Please.

I was talking to one of my good friends during a lull in my work day on g-chat (G-mail chat for those of you who still are using Hotmail or Yahoo) like the rest of you probably do, when he suddenly asked, “so if you had to choose an otherworldly figure… who would you be with… an angel or a demon?” Quite the random Friday afternoon question, but I guess when you have conversations with your friends debating who you would assemble to defend against a zombie outbreak or the damn Assassin’s Dagger that cost you 7000G but was totally worth it, this is pretty close to reality.

My answer to that question? Honestly, the first thing to pop into my mind was Dante, of Devil May Cry. I blame Facebook‘s ads, as it was the last thing I saw and therefore influenced my decision…. sort of.

I like to try to be as productive as I can during the day–go to work, come back, make food, watch anime while eating food to pass time (because I’m anti-social like that but like to think of this as multi-tasking), then work on some of my cosplay stuff or read manga. So naturally I’m all about productivity and efficiency. Speaking of both traits, bounty hunters, or for me, pistol-toting vampires come to mind. And usually, these “bounty hunters” or crazy, blood-thirsty predators are usually demons. Demons know what they want and they get it done. I’m totally down with that. I mean, Angels are nice and all but let’s face it–demons (if they’re in human form) usually have better clothes and cooler hair, and I’m kind of superficial like that. Also, angels have morals and an active conscience. Sometimes that just translates to being wishy-washy and increases unwanted loitering time in open spaces. (My list does not include vampires, that would be too easy and obvious… ahem Alucard, ahem Vampire Hunter D, ahem Saya…)

Case in point #1: Dante of Devil May Cry

I feel like Adam Lambert would... wear these looks. Image via mycheats.1up.com

I’m still wondering why nobody has created an anime music video of Dante into Samurai Champloo. I could totally see Fuu giving him shit for being in debt again. This draws me to believe that Dante is relatively inexpensive (for hire), because how can someone really be bankrupt for eating strawberry sundaes and pizzas all day?  He also usually gets the job done, so I see this as a win-win on my end, if I were ever to employ him.

Case in point #2: Sebastien Michaelis of Black Butler

I’m aware that this was probably the wrong clip to show how badass Sebastien is but look how fucking efficient he is. Also, this ending sequence is really cute…. < / girlymush >

I don’t really need to expand anymore upon Black Butler. We already know Sebastien is a demonic butler. (Don’t hate me I didn’t ruin anything for you) For the record, “akuma de shitsuji” is one of the best lines in the history of anime. Not only can Sebastien dispose of uninvited guests, he can make an entire platter of breakfast, set the table and trim the lawn all before Ciel even wakes up. Sebastien is highly efficient and he always looks slick even when he’s hurling knives and forks from the ceiling. Maybe it’s just the long hair. Whatever the case, Sebastien makes demons look hot.

Case in point #3: The Claymores

I’m a sucker for badass chicks–I don’t care how butch you say Xena is, she is badass and she could probably also kick you in the baby-maker. So of course Claymore is on this list. Half-human, half-youma, these women don’t give a shit. I’m down with that.

Case in point #4: Larva of Vampire Princess Miyu

You couldn't tell he was a god-demon. Image via thatanimeblog.com

I admit I was crushing on Larva when I watched VPM as a small girl–I think I was in 4th grade… yeah, I was small then. However his cold attitude really irked me and I thought he was a douchebag (when I was 9, though, I was not aware of that term. Please note.) As the series progressed, Larva eventually warmed up to Miyu and I was secretly rooting for ROMANCE. Of course, that got awkward in the series, so I just accepted that Miyu and Larva became a kick-ass team, and though strong as Miyu was, having Larva around did not hurt one bit, even if his attitude could use some adjusting.

Case in point #5: Elder Toguro of Yu Yu Hakusho

This is some crazy shit. Image via pavtube.com

HE’S A FUCKING SHAPESHIFTER.

You may wonder why I did not include certain demons on this list. For example, the demons in D. Gray Man. Those demons are stupid and contemplate too many things. Or, any of the demonic beings in Gensoumaden Saiyuki / Dragonball Z (they’re essentially the same story, don’t hate me for that)–I can’t say any of them stood out to me, even though I’m quite familiar with both.

TLaPD Be Upon Us

Avast! Belay yer proper speak and talk like a pirate, landlubber, because tomorrow be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. (Aye, I be startin’ a bit early…)

In case ye’ve been A) livin’ under a rock like sand crab or B) a ninja and ‘ave been avoidin’ knowledge of this glorious day on purpose (if the latter be true, shame on ye), International Talk Like a Pirate Day be a splendid holiday created by two middle-aged men with nothin’ better to do. Fer those of ye who can read more than treasure maps, the best rendition of the origin story can be found here: Dave Barry’s Article

I canna be advocatin’ rape or pillaging as part of TLaPD, but there should be plenty o’ maraudin’ and cavortin’ and good-natured, piratey roughhousin’ in celebration. Ooh, and bucklin’ of swashes! Or, unbucklin’ as the case may be.

I’m sure there’ll be lots o’ grog consumption as well (of which I will not partake because, ugh, rum tastes awful, especially when drunk from musty old wooden tankards; trust me, I’ve tried) and that always be more amusin’ to watch than days sans grog consumption.

Fer assistance in buildin’ yer pirate vocabulary: Some Rules and Vocab

Fer the lily-livered, bilge suckers who’re too lazy to try: Instant Translator

And, of course, Facebook be havin’ a pirate language settin’, which ye should use at all times.

Chinga tu madre!

Even though I don’t have a Y-chromosome, I’ve been looking forward to Robert Rodriguez’s Machete (see the trailer here.) Mostly ‘cause he directed Spy Kids. No, kidding. Mostly because he directed Sin City and Planet Terror (that’s more respectable, right?) and might be helming the Deadpool movie. There was also the added bonus of it being “Rated R for strong bloody violence throughout, language, some sexual content and nudity.” Sounds like a friggin’ awesome party!

I saw the film on Friday. First note: I never, ever wanted to see Lindsay Lohan’s tits. In fact, I stay far away from all Lindsay Lohan-related photos because I don’t want to see that cute little girl from The Parent Trap getting out of a car in an impossibly short dress, consequently exposing her hoo-hah to the cool night breezes. So that wasn’t fun. Second note: I love Danny Trejo. He’s in two of my ultimate guilty pleasure films (the ones I know I shouldn’t like ‘cause they’re god-awful, but for some reason I do) – Bubble Boy and Fanboys (DON’T JUDGE ME, ASSHOLES.) That ese’s badass, dude. But I didn’t really like him as a leading man. Stick to your supporting roles, muchacho. Even though the film delivered on my dark humor bloody violence quota (there was even one part where Machete sliced open this puto’s stomach, pulled out his intestines, and used them as a rope to climb down the side of a building – HILARIOUS), the fact none of the characters were well-written/developed enough for me to identify with made me leave the theatre with an overall feeling of “… enh.” It’s a renter.

Now, this weekend, I also saw Going the Distance. Whatever whatever, go ahead and laugh at me – I’m a chick and someone else was paying for me and I have an unreasonably huge crush on Justin Long ‘cause he’s irresistibly funny/charming so you can just go and hang yourself in your shower, Buttass. The movie’s pretty much what it advertised, so get your lazy ass down to YouTube and watch a trailer ‘cause I ain’t summarizing that shit for you. But it did get me thinking about how every girl has a different definition of what’s romantic. For some girls it’s moronic Katherine Heigl-movie crap with flowers and teddy bears and all that super froofy stuff. For other girls it’s stuff like this:

(via Kotaku.com)

You can guess which camp I’m in.

P.S. A helpful note to guys who need advice – to woo a non-Katherine-Heigl-movie girl, you don’t have to do something as extravagant as training all those Pokemon to level 100 (even though I know that you probably used that Pokemon Red/Blue cheat code where you multiply your Rare Candy item to an infinite amount and just use those on your little Pocket Monsters till they’re full up) – something simple can do it. Example? Maybe a cleverly-constructed rhyme. Me? I’d love a comedic rap to the tune of Slim Shady. Throw down dem phat beats, yo.